Manchester United 2 – 0 QPR

SERIOUSLY. What the fuck just happened? Did I really watch the sixth best team in Europe struggle to beat an aging gold digging squad that only had ten men? This is a fucking disgrace. We were so bad that this ancient man –– did that all day long just to keep us active and look decent. Shocking, he had to score just so that some people in the stands could let their arse loosen up a bit.

But the ABSOLUTE worst? This.

Let me add some emphasis just to get the message across.

What an absolute penguin. Disgrace to the club. Sell him.

Infact, he tried to redeem himself by showing of some insane skillz – But I am not impressed. Any half arsed footballer can pluck the ball out of the air while running and then jumping. Go back to the Midlands you dick.

Carrick

Deary me. A shocking footballer, who has almost no skill at all gets to play alongside the greatest footballer of all time. Then he goes and does this:

Don’t be brainwashed by all this dicks on twitter talking about pass completion and what not. Carrick is just shit. No doubt about it and the above is proof. Let’s not focus on the 130 passes, or the interceptions or the tackles he won. Or that insane shot that rattled the bar. Let’s instead focus on the ONE thing that COULD, but didn’t, have gone wrong. Scumbag Carrick:

But what I find the DEFINITE WORST is when a LEGEND, I repeat a “LEGEND” does this:

What a fucking naff challenge. How he has gone so many games without a card is beyond me. Maybe all these conspiracy theorists are right. We’ve bought the damn title because our players don’t get sent off!

But, nothing angers me, and what I find the EPIC WORST is this.

Jonny Evans, yes JONNY “NO ‘H’ IN MY NAME WHILE ALSO BEING THE WORST DEFENDER IN HISTORY” EVANS, saved our asses. That is the last straw. When we have to depend on that, to help us win? We’re fucked. Arsehole Wenger was right.

Because if there’s one correct response to your team being beaten 8-2, it’s claiming that “Manchester United do not look absolutely irresistible“. A club that is 8 points clear at the top of the table. Have you forgotten already Whinger?

Here. And here. Also here. Here too. Here three. Sigh here. Hmm here.TROLOLOLO here.

Blackburn 0 – 2 Manchester United

Sup doods. This is my first ever post. Posting up the times where we looked like right plonkers, in front of the millions and billions of away supporters we lug around.

Barcelona, you’re having a laugh!

Look at these mugs thinking they’re Barcelona and trying one-touch passing. Or for you exotic dicks, tiki-taka. What utter drivel.

This Mexican, so in love with this Spanish overlords, tried it and failed miserably. Pathetic.

I mean, he’s so good, he keeps doing it! Some of you loser United supporters will call this ‘confidence’. I call this crap.

It’s incredible how infectious this disease is – even our homegrown talent has succumbed to it. He isn’t any better. Just sell him Fergie! Atleast that’ll save a few more years of your life.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

It’s a shame Juninho is still playing. Because I would pay good money to hire him as a pundit and make him watch this:

He’ll be pissing himself.

Paul Scholes, deary me!

Apparently having Scholes around is beneficial to the squad. But even with ALL this VIDEO evidence, it’s clear he’s just a diving douche who can’t tackle.

As you can see, the video evidence CLEARLY shows Paul Scholes’ face headbutting Hanley’s elbow. What a cheat and insult to Manchester United.

He is also infamous for his poor tackles, and he was at it again against the lightweight, fragile, darlingĀ  that is Yakubu. ‘The Yak’, as he is affectionately and without a sense of irony known, had to face the wrath of a player who was 6’7″ and weighed 250 pounds!

Shocking performance from what is arguably the sixth best team in Europe.